After he joined the ranks of the RIFed he had no idea of what to do except look for another job. If that was all he did, he knew he would go quite mad even with the consulting work.
He cast about for various things and then finally decided to commit to going to the same place every day for one year, unless there was a reasonable excuse not to, such as being in another country, and no matter what to publish a picture and a blog post everyday. He started on February 1st by posting all 31 days of January – an orgy of self expression – and damned if he did not stick to his pledge.
Some days the pictures he shot were very uninspired and pedestrian and some days he dared to think they were excellent – most days landed somewhere in between. What did become very clear was that by the simple performance of this daily routine his photography skills were improving and he was virtually “meeting” people from all over the world (while perhaps neglecting some friends closer by).
So, now it is November 28th, 33 days to go until the completion of the work (for work it is) and I find myself resisting. I don’t want to go to the river. I don’t want to post. I want to stop.
I can give all sorts of reasons for this. Good, solid seeming, reasons. But…
This is idiotic. This is me sabotaging me. I know how I will feel if I don’t finish this meditation. I am like the marathoner who has gone 24 miles and has hit the wall.
Yup, things are tough around here at the moment. We are all tired of pushing this damned rock up this freaking – why am I bowdlerizing myself? – up this fucking hill but there is a light at the end of the tunnel (Mixing metaphors – he must be serious).
I can see the summit and I know that on the other side is another hill but it will be a different hill and perhaps one that is easier to climb and with smaller rocks to push.
As Samuel Beckett said: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”