11-5-13 – “I Should Have Stood In Bed.” (Apple Genius Bar Edition)

The above is attributed to a number of sources but the most common one is Joe Jacobs, a fight promoter of the 1930s. Many of us probably remember it from “Easter Yeggs” a 1947 Bugs Bunny cartoon shown repeatedly over the years since. I always thought it was “I shudda stood in bed” but both sportswriters, Wiki and a dictionary tell me I am wrong.

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Several people were kind enough to ask me why I have been wasting my life at The Genius bar in my local Apple Store.

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Long story short: In May I went to Apple Genius to merge two Apple iTunes identities so that I could actually have simultaneous access to songs that I had bought.  (Let the buyer beware). When I was young and foolish I didn’t know that Apple id is forever (No superego can override it) and you can never cause it to marry or subsume itself in your new ID. Oh, by the way, god forbid you have closed the old email account the ID is associated with and can’t remember your password. Then you are SOL.

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It took an hour but it seemed we had merged libraries successfully and off I went. After a few days I noticed an anomaly.  Some songs (frequently my most played or else why would I have noticed) would be playing along and suddenly in the middle of a song one of two things would happen. Either dead air – but the counter continued to move so some information was reaching the brain of the iPhone – or the next song would start but the name of the old song and the artwork would still be displayed until the original song “finished” playing, at which point the song that had jumped in would start over.

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Oh did I mention that I only have this problem with the iPhone. All music plays perfectly on the computer.

After 5 visits and a phone call, I have:

wiped my phone and reinstalled everything (3 times);

moved all music to the Cloud and back to the computer (4 times);

Replaced the computer OS;

been treated like an idiot (innumerable times);

been told my problem was fascinating and the senior level genius in Cupertino CA wished he was in NYC to see it in action;

Been told I would get a replacement phone and waited 4 hours for it;

and after getting the new phone, putting back my contacts, calendar, and finally the music had the problem persist. I was told to go away, wipe the phone again and start it as a new phone, again (this was yesterday).

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If I was a 25-year-old hipster from Williamsburg in Brooklyn I would now write a snarky line about “white people’s problems” and move on. Only there were a LOT of people at the Genius Bar last night, all ages, races, sexes, ethnicities, and nationalities many with iPhone problems, others with iPad or Mac problems and so I choose to write that Apple Inc has some big problems, people problems, that are starting to affect their overall performance.

I will be going back of course. If anything interesting occurs, I will let you know.

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